Going to South Africa

My friend Andrea and I are getting ready for a trip to South Africa in May. We've been shot, warned, and handed enough reading material to last until time to pack. So far, my only trip to the African continent was to Egypt in 2007 and my closest encounter with a wild man-eating African animal was the fearsome Nile crocodile in the photo.

Here's what we've learned so far from the good folks who want to shrink-wrap all Americans in sterile plastic:
1. Don't pet the monkeys. You can pet the elephants, but not the monkeys.
2. Get shots for Hepatitis A, tetanus, pertussis, typhoid, and flu.
3. Take malaria pills with you and take them as directed.
4. Take Cipro pills with you in case of Cheetah's revenge.
5. Don't wear, don't even take with you, perfutme, cologne, scented toiletries or soap. Nothing to attract mosquitoes. Don't even use a dryer cloth on the clothes you pack.
6. Take plenty of hand sanitizer.

Now, realistically, this is worse than it sounds. Pertussis (whooping cough) isn't a problem in S. Africa, but you might pick it up from a fellow passenger on the flight. Yeah, and I might pick it up at the Food Lion today.

About those malaria pills. After reading Ann Patchett's State of Wonder, I was wary of the pills because they could give you nightmares. I now know there are two kinds of malaria pills: the cheap ones that indeed call forth flying monkeys and make you jump out your bedroom window in the middle of the night, and the expensive ones that don't. I've bought the expensive kind. So there.